A Sea of Waking Dreams
by K8Malloy
Summary: Future Fic: A chill in the air. Carved pumpkins. Calls of trick-or-treat. Fifteen years after Dave Karofsky survived the worst night of his life, a seemingly benign Halloween decoration causes those memories to come crashing back, trying to pull him under. But Sebastian Smythe isn't going to let go of his husband without a fight. Spoilers for 3.14. Warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** The title is a line from Sarah McLachlan's _Possession (Piano Version) _as are the other italicized lines. If you have never listened to this haunting version of her song, I highly recommend that you do.

**Warning:** This story deals with the echoing effects of the events of episode 3.14. If reading about attempted suicide will cause you discomfort in any way, please stop here.

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own nor did I create Glee or its characters. I have invited some of the boys to play and will do my best to return them unharmed._

* * *

**_The Sea of Waking Dreams_**

_Boston, Massachusetts_

_October 31, 2026_

The crisp chill of the autumn evening, the same chill that had caused him to insist that his son wear a jacket over his costume, went unnoticed.

The jubilant, high-pitched calls of 'trick or treat' from the flocks of costumed children dashing from house to house went unnoticed.

The gentle tugs on his calloused hand went unnoticed.

It had taken just one glimpse up.

Caught completely off-guard.

_Memories trapped in time_.

* * *

Tyson Colby Smythe had been bursting with excitement the entire day. This year, Halloween fell on a stay-at-home day which was a code he and his daddy used to describe any day that he didn't have to go to school. He liked school. A lot. But he also really liked staying home with his daddies on stay-at-home days because that meant snuggling in pajamas until they absolutely had to get out of bed and be _civilized_.

But Halloween falling on a Saturday meant that they would get to stay out trick-or-treating even longer because he _didn't_ have to get up for school the next morning. And, even better than that, his almost-cousins had invited him to come with them, even though they were older, and he was _only_ in kindergarten.

So his family had driven over to Uncle Nick and Uncle Jeff's house where everyone ate pizza for dinner and, as a special treat, he'd been allowed to have one cup of soda. Afterwards, he, his cousins, and his cousins' friends had quickly changed into their costumes: his almost-cousins were dressed up as Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, and Donald Duck. Pierre had asked Uncle Jeff why he wasn't dressed as Goofy. Uncle Nick had said something about Uncle Jeff making a better looking James Bond and then they kissed – which was kinda gross, like when Daddy and Pierre kissed.

Dumbo being his favorite movie, Tyson had wanted to wear an elephant costume for Halloween. But the dumb costume store didn't have one. So Daddy had called another one of his uncles, and a week ago a big box with his name on it had arrived from New York City. Uncle Kurt had made him is very own, one-of-a-kind elephant costume, with big floppy ears and a stuffed trunk. Uncle Blaine had sent a big bag of peanuts and a red bag with a stuffed mouse sewn onto it – because Dumbo's friend was a mouse and everyone knows that elephants like peanuts.

When it was finally dark enough – which took _forever_, they finally left the house and walked out into the neighborhood. There were lots and lots of kids and parents, and almost all of the houses were decorated with ghosts and skeletons and spooky spiders. Some of the houses had scary music or special lights. And all of them had carved pumpkins lit from the inside. Tyson was having the best time, and tried to remember to always say trick-or-treat, or happy Halloween, and to hold out his bag, and to say thank you after. It was a lot to remember.

Pierre, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Jeff were staying in the street mostly so they could keep an eye on everyone. So it was Daddy who walked up to each of the houses with him, or at least part of the way if the house wasn't too spooky. Sometime his cousins were with him, but sometimes they ran off to the next house before he had gotten his treat. It was okay, though, because his daddy was there.

So when his daddy just stopped halfway up the walkway to the next house, Tyson was confused. He could see the skeleton decorations in the front yard grass, and his daddy knew he didn't like walking by them by himself, even if he knew they were just fake plastic. He tried tugging on his daddy's hand, but that didn't help. He called Daddy's name. "Daddy? Daddy? Daddy!" but that didn't work either.

Tyson gave up. Instead, peering into the darkness, he spotted his father nearby under a street light.

"Pierre! Pierre! Come here, quick!" he shouted. He knew that Pierre would know what to do.

* * *

It's fascinating how much a parent can tell about a situation from just the tone of his child's voice. Sebastian Smythe felt the hair on the back of his neck raise at Tyson's shout. Despite being in mid-sentence, Sebastian spun away from his friends, jogging over to where Tyson was still holding his husband's hand.

"What's wrong, buddy?" Before the question was fully out of his mouth, he **_knew_**.

His success as a corporate attorney came in no small part to Sebastian's ability to think quickly on his feet and to remain calm in the midst of a crisis. Tonight would tax those abilities to the limit.

_ Your words keep me alive_

Kneeling down, he pulled Tyson into his embrace. "Hey, buddy. It's gonna be okay. I need you to go with Uncle Jeff and collect as much candy as you can. I'm going to take care of daddy while you do that, okay?" He ran his hands over his son's back as much to soothe himself, as to reassure his son.

Jeff's dress shoes appeared in his vision. Hearing Jeff's sharp intake of breath, he knew that Jeff understood what had set Dave off. Standing with Tyson in his arms, Sebastian met his friend's gaze. "Can you take him?" he asked quietly.

Holding his arms out to Tyson, Jeff nodded as the young boy shifted into his arms. "You don't even need to ask, Seb. Come on, Tyson, let's go catch up with the other kids while your daddies have a talk." Jeff let the little guy wiggle out of his arms and took his hand. Turning back to Sebastian, he added, "He can stay the night. We have PJs that will fit."

Sebastian's voice cracked. "Thank you, Jeff. I don't know-"

Jeff smiled wryly. "We've got your back. Take care of Dave. Call us tomorrow, when you can."

* * *

_A sea of waking dreams._

An innocent Halloween decoration. That was all it had taken.

The suit dressed skeleton hanging by its neck from the second story balcony.

Sebastian knew with certainty that his husband had traveled back to the horrible memories of the spring of 2012 – and the worst decision Dave had ever made. A decision that Sebastian felt partially responsible for – despite the years that had passed, the marital counseling they'd both attended, and Dave's adamant insistence that Sebastian bore no responsibility for Dave's spiral into a depression that led him to attempt suicide.

Stepping in front of Dave, Sebastian used his height advantage to block his husband's line of vision – which was frozen on the horrifying tableau. Wrapping his arms around Dave's shoulders, Sebastian drew him in close.

"You're going to be okay, Davey. I'm right here." With care, Sebastian turned Dave away from the grim reminder of his senior year. He began to lead them back down the driveway and into the street steering them clear of the sprinting groups of kids. "Let's go home, babe. Everything is going to be alright." Sebastian punctuated his words with a kiss to Dave's temple. "I love you, Davey. Me and Tyson, we love you so much. Hold on to that thought, David. We love you."

* * *

A group of teenagers, too old to be out trick-or-treating, passed by Sebastian and Dave only to begin making obnoxious comments – loudly. One young man, dressed only in a top hat and diaper, wearing a sash embroidered with "Happy New Year" had just commented, "Who wants to see that? God, they should just kill themselves," when he ran straight into a seething Nick Duvall.

"Mr. Nelson." Nick's angry tone wasn't lost on the boys.

"Oh, shit! Coach Duvall," blurted the boy.

"First," Nick held up a finger. "That is totally inappropriate language to be using in this family-friendly environment. Second," Nick held up another finger. "Those men you just passed – are _my_ friends, gentlemen. What _you_, Mr. Hall, had to say about _them_, is personally offensive.

"Finally, you need to understand – all of you need to understand, that your words have consequences. Even when you think you're _just out with your boys_, and think you're talking to yourselves, but doing it loud enough that everyone around can hear you – _those_ words have consequences. A very good friend of mine tried to take his own life when we were in high school, because a group of classmates decided to out him. And, because that wasn't hurtful enough, they began to call him vile, atrocious names – to his face, and online. People wrote to him, telling him he should take his own life. And he tried to."

Nick could see that he had their full attention now. "Your words carry _weight_. They have _consequences_ that you might not see. And sometimes, those consequences are **permanent**. My advice, as your teacher _and_ your coach, is to choose your words more wisely in the future." Making eye contact with each of the teenagers, Nick finished.

"I see that some of you, unlike Mr. Hall, couldn't even be bothered to attempt a costume; and yet, you are all carrying bags of candy while dressed in your school lacrosse uniforms." Nick smiled without humor. "Well, gentlemen, perhaps you feel as if your parents don't care how you comport yourselves in public – and maybe they don't; perhaps you feel as if your school doesn't care how you comport yourselves in public – and maybe it doesn't. But I care, gentlemen. If you represent me on the field, then you represent me off of the field."

"Yes, sir!" came the automatic replies.

"Excellent." Nick clapped his hands together. "Then we can discuss appropriate amends for this evening's asinine behavior, while in uniform no less, while running lines next practice."

The groans were loud, but no one verbalized an actual complaint. They knew better.

"Have a safe evening, gentlemen."

* * *

After watching his players walk away, it took a few minutes for Nick to find his family – their neighborhood had quite the reputation for its Halloween spirit, and many people, like he and Jeff and done, offered to host their out-of-the-area friends and family members for the evening events. Beyond that, many of the houses had a tradition of having both candy for the kids and adult-treats for, well, the adults. In some areas, it became wall to wall bodies as people snaked through.

Of course, passing out glo-sticks to all of the kids before they had left the house helped identify which costumed hobbits belonged to him. Spotting Donald Duck holding the hand of a fabulously dressed elephant, Nick realized he in the right area and chose to wait at the end of the driveway for them. He sensed the moment that Jeff moved up behind him.

"Bond." he said in acknowledgment of his husband's presence keeping an eye on the kids' progress.

"That's James Bond, Mr. Jones," replied Jeff.

Nick smiled, though Jeff couldn't see it. "You can call me Indiana."

Wrapping his arms around Nick's waist from behind, Jeff hooked his chin over Nick's shoulder, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "You're incredible," he said with a sigh.

"I know," Nick answered quickly. "My _husband_ tells me that all the time," he teased quietly.

Jeff stood up straight and used his hands on Nick's waist to turn the other man around. "Wait! You're married?" he asked in mock-incredulity.

Grinning at the man who had stolen his heart almost two decades before, Nick threaded his fingers through Jeff's. "Yes. Married. To the most amazing guy in the _universe_."

"_Really_? The _universe_? You'll have to introduce us sometime," Jeff chuckled.

Following their group of charges who were moving on to the next house, Nick gently ran his thumb over Jeff's knuckles. "Hmmm…I don't know. I kinda like keeping you to myself."

"Flirt." Jeff allowed them to walk in silence until they stopped to wait for the kids. "I told Seb we'd take Tyson tonight," he explained soberly.

Nick wrapped an arm around Jeff's waist tugging him closer. "I figured as much. So? Candy bar pancakes in the morning?"

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

**End Note**: _Hi. Thank you for reading the first part of (what I believe) will be a two part story. The genesis for this story really did come from last Halloween when, while taking my kids out trick or treating, we rolled up on a house with a skeleton hanging from the second story balcony. I thought, wow, that could cause someone a lot of unintended pain - given certain circumstances. My muse is apparently fascinated with the Smythe-Karofsky pairing (which surprised the heck out of me at first) and Nick and Jeff just showed up for the party. They demanded a bit of Niff fluff before allowing me to move forward with what I anticipate will be an emotional roller-coaster second part. I have a week's vacation starting Monday, so I anticipate the next portion being up by Friday 4/12. Be safe!_


	2. Chapter 2: Memories Trapped in Time

**A/N:** The title is a line from Sarah McLachlan's _Possession (Piano Version) _as are the other italicized lines. If you have never listened to this haunting version of her song, I highly recommend that you do. The lines from the song Sebastian sings are from Lady Antebellum's song _Just a Kiss_.

**Warning:** This story deals with the echoing effects of the events of episode 3.14. If reading about attempted suicide will cause you discomfort in any way, please stop here.

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own nor did I create Glee or its characters. I have invited some of the boys to play and will do my best to return them unharmed._

* * *

_Would I spend forever here, and not be satisfied?_

Ten minutes into the drive home, Sebastian reached out to click on the radio. The preset stations in his Tesla were a variety of pop, rock and adult contemporary. But, although he would probably deny it, Sebastian knew where to find the country station on the dial. That was the type of music Dave listened to – much to Sebastian's horror when they'd first started dating.

Humming along with the melody, Sebastian was surprised to find the words coming to him_. "Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight, just a touch of the fire burning so bright. No, I don't want to mess this thing up. No I don't want to push too far,_" he harmonized quietly. It was one of the songs on the mix CD of country music Dave had given to him after their date to see an ice hockey game, so many years ago.

_"Can we please change the station? God, Dave, how do you listen to this crap?" grumbled Sebastian, arms crossed over his chest. He knew he was being cranky, but didn't care to figure out why. Dave's taste in music needed serious help._

_ Glancing across the seat to Sebastian, Dave shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Whatever," he replied defensively. _

_ "What?" Sebastian asked, hearing the rebuff in Dave's tone. "You really like this?" He gestured towards the radio._

_ Dave's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Yes, Sebastian. I. Actually. Enjoy. Listening. To. Country. Music." He emphasized each word as if he were speaking to a five year old. "It speaks to me. It's about things that I get. On a feeling level."_

_ "Losing your truck, your girl, and your dog? That speaks to you?" _

_ Pulling onto the grounds at Dalton, Dave didn't say anything until he had parked in a visitor's space near the entrance to the dormitory. Leaving the engine running, he turned to Sebastian and stared at him hard. "You really can act like a douche at times."_

_ "I-"_

_ Dave held up his hand, palm up, to halt Sebastian's response. "No, Smythe. Just stop. I had a really great time tonight. Up until the last five minutes or so. I don't know what I did or didn't do that changed things, so I'll apologize for whatever part I played. And I need you to know that I don't appreciate you insulting my musical choices, or laughing at me for the same reason. It hurts, and I don't deserve that," voice wavering only slightly, Dave felt a small amount of accomplishment for voicing his feelings. It was something his therapist had worked on with him._

_ Reaching out his hand, Sebastian dropped it on Dave's arm only to feel Dave start to pull away before stopping. "Dave, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."_

_ Gazing out the window into the darkness, Dave nodded absentmindedly. "Okay," he muttered. "Um…I'll give you a call sometime this week, when I get a chance."_

_ Sebastian snapped his head up, from where he was staring at his hand on Dave's arm. "Aren't you staying? I thought that was the plan? You staying here with me in Westerville, so you wouldn't have to drive another two hours to get home after the game. Christ, Dave. If you left now, you wouldn't get home until after 2am. That's not safe." His concern was nearing panic at the thought of Dave leaving now._

_ Dave let out a large sigh. "I'm not staying."_

_ "Dave? Please. I said I was sorry, and I meant it. Why won't you come back with me?" Sebastian ran his hand down to interlace his fingers between Dave's. They hadn't moved past a friendship. Yet. But it didn't mean they both didn't know where this was going to end up. Dave didn't squeeze his fingers, but he didn't pull away either, giving Sebastian a small amount of hope._

_ "I can't," he whispered, swiping a hand down his face before propping his head in his palm, elbow resting on the top of the car door. "I don't feel right…about us…about staying. I don't want to stay and end up doing something or saying something that I'll regret later."_

_ He looked up into Sebastian's eyes. "I need time to forgive you for what you said and how it made me feel, and I can't do that if I'm sharing a twin bed with you. We're both trying to be better people, Sebastian. This is me trying to be a better person. I need you to respect that and respect my decision to go home."_

_ Sebastian nodded tightly. "Will you please call me when you get home? So I know you're home safe? Please?"_

_ "Okay."_

_ Unbuckling his seat belt, Sebastian leaned across the seat to give Dave a hug. It was a bit tighter and a bit longer than their previous hugs. "I really did enjoy tonight," he whispered in Dave's ear before dropping a soft kiss there. Pressing their foreheads together, Sebastian added, "Thank you for putting up with my bullshit. I'll keep trying to be the guy you deserve."_

_ Before he could chicken out, Sebastian pressed his lips to Dave's. He heard Dave's quick intake of breathe through his nose, but was elated to note that Dave didn't pull away. Instead, they spent the last few moments of what they'd eventually count as their 'first date that counted', slowly moving their lips against each other's._

"Where's Tyson? Bast? Where is he?"

It was the intensity of Dave's question that brought Sebastian back from his memories. Reaching over with his right hand, Sebastian gripped Dave's thigh once before running his hand soothingly over the top of his leg. "He's with Jeff and Nick, babe. He's fine." Sebastian risked as long of a glance over at his husband as he dared traveling down the freeway.

Dave seemed to collapse into his seat, before covering his face with his hands and bending forward. Sebastian moved his hand up Dave's back to his neck where he scratched lightly. "Babe, just breathe for me. I'll get you home and we can do whatever you need to feel better. Just breathe. I love you, Davey. You're my everything."

"I'm sorry," came Dave's eventual response. "I'm sorry for ruining our Halloween."

The hitch in his breathing informed Sebastian just how close to an emotional abyss Dave was tonight. "Shhh. You didn't ruin Halloween for anyone," answered Sebastian immediately.

"It's just so stupid. It was just a decoration. Just a stupid Halloween decoration. And I looked up and…I just…I couldn't…Bast, I-" Dave tried to hold back the sobs, but couldn't stem the tide. Horrible memories. Guilt. Embarrassment. They all combined, twisting into a maelstrom of emotions that Dave felt ill-equipped to face – even with Sebastian by his side.

Part of him wanted to just pull the car over at the nearest exit, find a secluded spot and pull his husband into his arms until all the bad memories faded into the background. The other part of him knew that Dave wouldn't feel completely comfortable until they were at home, surrounded by the things that reminded him of family and love. So he continued towards their renovated Brownstone, exceeding the speed limit by as much as he dared, careful to keep physical contact with Dave at all times.

"Do you remember that first weekend you came up to Cambridge, to visit me?" asked Sebastian.

Wiping at the tears on his cheeks, Dave nodded.

"I remember walking along the Charles River with you. After dinner. It was so cold, and hardly anyone was out," Sebastian kept his voice low, trying to pull Dave into a much happier memory for both of them. "You kept telling me that playing hockey for all those years made you impervious to the cold – and that I just needed to man up and deal with it."

"You should have worn a hat, dummy," teased Dave hoarsely.

Taking Dave's hand in his, Sebastian chuckled. "If I'd have worn a hat, I wouldn't have needed warming up. And if my memory serves, you were quite creative when it came to warming up your boyfriend." It had been years ago, but Sebastian could still remember the contrast in temperatures between the chilly autumn air and the blazing warmth of Dave's mouth. The intensity of the moment was even greater given they were outside, in public, where someone could walk by at any time.

Sebastian felt Dave's hand grow warmer in his. "Babe? Are you blushing?" he asked curiously.

A shy smile crossed Dave's face as he looked over at Sebastian. "I still can't believe we did that. Well, not that we did, but that we did it right _there_. God, we were so young and stupid."

"Young. Dumb. And in love. I didn't realize how much I was going to miss you, when I left for Harvard. I'd been so worried about you – about us – and then you came up for that weekend. And I could see that you were doing okay – that you were fine without me there," Sebastian hesitated, lost in thought.

Dave brought their clasped hands up to his mouth, placing a kiss on each of Sebastian's knuckles. "Did that bother you?"

"No. Yes. I was happy that you were doing okay. I'd been so worried that you weren't telling me the truth. Or at least the whole truth. But I would be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that liked feeling like you needed me. After you left, I stopped worrying about you so much and started worrying about what would happen to us."

Sebastian carefully pulled in to the garage of their house, wary of the children traveling in packs around their neighborhood. He hit the button on the remote, bringing the door down as he turned the engine off. It plunged them into darkness until he turned on one of the interior lights. Placing his hands on either side of Dave's face, he pulled him in for a long, slow kiss.

Pulling away, Sebastian cupped his husband's chin with his fingers. "I never doubted you, Davey. I need you to know that. I doubted myself. I thought that if you didn't need me for support, if you were strong enough without me nearby, that you'd figure out just how fucked up I was – and figure out that you deserved someone way better than me."

Dave caught Sebastian's lower lip between his teeth, tugging gently which brought out the whimper from his husband that he was seeking. "Bast, you know that you are all I have ever wanted since we got together. There is no one better. There never will be."

One thing about being with the same person for over a decade, Dave knew exactly which buttons to push to make Sebastian a hot mess of desire. Their kissing grew more heated and eventually hands drifted lower, pushing and tugging clothing out of the way.

"Davey?" Sebastian's voice was absolutely wreaked. "Davey, babe, wait. We're still in my car."

Yanking off his shirt and throwing it carelessly into the back, Dave growled back, "It's your own fucking fault for getting this itty bitty show piece of a car. We'd have more than enough room if we were in my truck."

Laughing, Sebastian actually opened his car door so he could shuck off his Sherlock Holmes costume down to his boxers and then climbed back in. "So we're really gonna do this here, David?"

"I've never known you to pass on sex, Smythe. But if you really don't want to…" Dave opened the passenger side door, teasing his husband.

Grinning, Sebastian lunged at the door, slamming it back shut. This action managed to bring him into Dave's lap, his long legs stretched back into the driver's seat. He ran his fingers affectionately through his husband's curls, the slight dampness of sweat making them more pronounced. "You're the strongest man I know, Davey," he offered quietly.

He leaned in to drop a kiss on his lips before leaning back against to door and finding Dave's hand to hold. "Every night, when Tyson and I say our prayers, I tell God how grateful I am…grateful that you are in my life, that you've been a part of my life for the past fourteen years. I am blessed with an amazing husband and partner who proudly walks beside me. We are blessed with an amazing son who has taught me more than I ever thought possible about love and life and family."

Unashamed, Sebastian let his tears fall down his cheeks. "If…if you had...died, that night, David…**I** wouldn't be here. Not the man I am today. Tyson wouldn't be here. Our entire family wouldn't…exist."

Dave tucked Sebastian into his the crook of his neck, placing soft kisses on his forehead. "Back when I was in the hospital, Hummel came to visit me. He told me to imagine what life would be like in the future…" Dave ran his hands over the planes of Sebastian's chest, marveling how, after all this time, his husband's body just _did_ things to him. "I imagined being a successful sports agent. With a husband. And a son. You've helped me achieve all of that, Bast."

Tipping Sebastian's chin up, Dave lost himself in yet another kiss.

Dave pulled away just enough to whisper in Sebastian's ear. "Being reminded tonight of the worst day of my life...well, it sucked. But it's also a reminder of just how much I have to live for today." A not-so-quiet groan escaped him as Sebastian began nibbling and sucking on his collarbone. "Bast?"

"Yeah, Babe?"

"Hold on." Dave reached over to lower the passenger seat down as far as it would go. He helped Sebastian reposition himself so they were both lying on their sides, legs intertwined. They were both slightly more comfortable. Before Sebastian could continue his previous activities, Dave stopped him. "I just wanted to point out that, rather unexpectedly, we have a child-free night."

Sebastian smirked. "Yes. And we would be rather remiss if we didn't take advantage of this particular situation. We should –"

"Table the discussion of heavier issues and just –"

"Celebrate us," whispered Sebastian, staring into the eyes of his husband.

"Trick? Or Treat?" whispered Dave.

"Treat…Oh, sweet mother of…right there, Davey."

_Just close your eyes, dear._

* * *

**End Note:**_ Dave and Sebastian had a very lengthy talk with my muse over this past weekend, pretty much demanding that their story be told in its entirety. I made no promises about how quickly that would happen, but did agree to take on their challenge. Thank you for reading! k8_


End file.
